"My fellow Americans......"

Abner was eighteen the year that the 26^th amendment was ratified. He has voted twice since then: once was the year that the seat belt law went into effect in Ohio (He wanted to repeal it, but it wasn’t on the ballot), and the next time was when the ban on public smoking came to a vote. He did cast a ballot for the losing candidate for governor the first time because he was told that a Republican was more likely to be against a law that was unconstitutional, and if strapping a man inside a moving vehicle wasn’t unconstitutional (the equivalent of strapping a man to an electric chair), then Abner didn’t know what it was. His smoke vote became a victim of political amnesia: Abner said he couldn’t remember which side of the issue he was supposed to vote yes on and which one he had to vote no on, or if he did, but the vote was gratuitous anyway: Abner’s had asthma since childhood, and he doesn’t smoke, but he says he would if he could. His girl friend does, and her boss, a bar owner, helped all his employees and most of his customers to register to vote, but she couldn’t be bothered.

Abner’s been thinking about voting again next year though. He needs insurance. Besides asthma, he has a congenital dysfunction of his left knee, and he thinks he won’t make it to Medicare on it. He works for an independent trash hauler, sorting out recyclables and usables from the junk--- practicing, he says (humorously?) for homelessness.

“Who would you vote for, Abner?”

“Somebody who’s for the little guy.” Abner has supper every night at the same small café. He can afford one decent meal a day.

“Who would that be?”

“Well, that guy that everybody loves, I guess. They must love him for a reason.”

“Obama?”

“Nah. Huckabees.”

“That’s 'Huckabee', Abner.”

“Well, it says 'I ♥ Huckabees' on the t-shirts.”

“That was a movie, Abner.”

“Well, who’s Jake Huckabee?”

“Nobody in politics.The one running for President is Michael.”

“Jackson?”

“No. Huckabee.”

“Well, who’s gonna get everybody insurance?”

“Nobody.”

“Well, who’re you voting for?”

“I’ll toss a coin when the time comes.”

“That’s not very reassuring.”

“I guess it’s sort of gambling.”

“It’s only called gambling when there’s a chance to win.”

Noe.