We twa hae paidl't in the burn Frae morning sun till dine...

The New Year’s party at Freddie’s just broke up. Somebody called to tell those who had made it into the fifth week but didn’t stay through to the end. It was all unnecessary anyway. The party at Rayburn’s that Freddie wanted to beat broke up in the third week of January because it got to be Ray’s turn to keep the kids. They say his ex and her current wife went and cleaned the place up because they were in a hurry to get to Florida. Everybody always wondered why Ray and Sheila broke up in the first place.

Nobody helps Freddie clean up. He won't hear of it. It's his way of getting back to reality afterwards. Some of the guys said that there was a body under the pile of trash in the back of the kitchen. Jefferson said he wasn’t dead. When they asked him how he knew, Jefferson, who’s a veteran, said “He ain’t dead, I tell ya. He’s been there for three days and he ain’t stinkin’. I’ve been keepin’ an eye on ‘im. He’s breathin’ good.”

We all thought Clay was dead, too, when he lay under a heap of empty beer cans for two days. The pyramids along the walls started to fall a week ago and somebody had put a full can of beer on the top of one of them and it came crashing on Clay’s head and put him down. He woke up by himself though, and when he leaned back to push himself off the floor he felt the beer can beside him and he drank it on his way to the bathroom.

One of the girls actually stayed for two weeks, or left and came back, like those who have jobs had to. She was a chum of Freddie’s girl friend who finally left for her own apartment so that she could get some sleep. Most of the others didn’t last much more than a week, but the one took a real liking to Jap.

Nobody knows why he’s called Jap. He looks Nordic. At one time, he had the girl cornered between two rubber plants, and he was heard to say, “I would abscond the highest mountain and discern to the dearth of the sea for one look at the limpness of your pools.” Some guys can talk to girls.

Freddie was disappointed that he won the bet with Ray in the way he did. Ray mailed him the money but Freddie mailed it right back.

Fredric’s such a nice guy. He let the man who’s been sleeping in the hallway of the apartment house in, and let him watch the Super Bowl and eat with the guys. The fellow, Turbo, the guys started to call him (because he had a can of Sterno [the wino’s traditional emergency "squeeze"] in his pocket that he said he used to cook with), dropped in and out for days, and Fred said that there was plenty of food for everybody, and Turbo never drank more than one beer at any time. When he left one day, he said goodbye to Freddie and told him that he was heading for Florida. Freddie gave him a sawbuck and some food. You know…maybe…the way fate works….nah!

This might have been the first party though that anyone ever went to and didn’t get up the next day feeling guilty and ashamed for the dumb ass things he said and did the night before. Nobody even busted anything in Freddie's beautiful place.

When he left the party with Meg, his new girl friend, Jap said, “My sincerest depreciation for the hospices of your municipal prostate,” and gave Freddie a warm hug.

Same here, Freddie. And Jap.

Noe.